What Was I Supposed to Do? Read online

  Table of Contents

  What Was I Supposed to Do?

  Acknowledgements

  Dedication | This book is dedicated to all the amazing girls that I have met through Girls Who Brunch. I dedicate this book to you. All of you are beautiful, no matter what your circumstances are. As long as you have breath in your body, you have the ability to rewrite your story and be the best version of you that you can be. | I wrote this story because of all of you. I never wanted any of you to feel like you didn’t know what you were supposed to do after meeting Girls Who Brunch. | This story is for you. | To my Mommy, happy heavenly birthday. Thank you for being my biggest fan as a writer and slanging all my books. LOL. I love you, Queen. Rest well.

  From the Pen of Ni’Cola | Note to the reader | Trigger warning

  What Was | I Supposed to Do?

  Prologue

  Harper

  Christine

  Harper

  James

  Christine

  Harper

  James

  Christine

  Yalonda

  Harper

  Yalonda

  Clyde

  Christine

  Harper

  Denise

  Harper

  Ni’Cola

  Epilogue

  Meet Ni’cola Mitchell

  Reviews

  Top 5 National Resources for Girls

  Copyright ©2020 by Ni’cola

  Published by NCM Publishing

  All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without prior written consent from both the author, and publisher NCM Publishing, except brief quotes used in reviews.

  First Printing 2021

  This is a work of fiction. It is not meant to depict, portray or represent any particular real persons. All the characters, incidents, and dialogues are the products of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any references or similarities to actual events, entities, real people, living or dead, or to real locales are intended to give the novel a sense of reality. Any similarity in other names, characters, entities, places, and incidents is entirely coincidental.

  Cover Copyright © 2021 by NCM Publishing. All rights reserved

  Cover Layout & Design – Justin Q. Young

  Editor – Keyoka Kinzy

  Interior Layout & Design – Write on Promotions

  NCM Publishing

  www.IamNicola.com

  Acknowledgements

  This journey has been rough, but if it wasn’t for my belief that there is a Heavenly Father above, I would not have made it this far. I thank Him for watching over me and continuing to open doors for me.

  I would like to thank my family and friends again for continuing to have faith in me and believing in me. You guys are my biggest critics, and I appreciate the constant push. You continue to motivate and push me to keep this fight going. I wouldn’t be shit without all of you.

  Who would have thought that when I started the Girls Who Brunch organization that we would become a household name? I want to thank all the men, women, organizations, facilities, and schools nationwide that have joined forces with me to service over 25,000 girls!

  To my entire Girls Who Brunch Tour Team, let’s continue to make history and produce difference-makers throughout the world.

  Dedication

  This book is dedicated to all the amazing girls that I have met through Girls Who Brunch. I dedicate this book to you. All of you are beautiful, no matter what your circumstances are. As long as you have breath in your body, you have the ability to rewrite your story and be the best version of you that you can be.

  I wrote this story because of all of you. I never wanted any of you to feel like you didn’t know what you were supposed to do after meeting Girls Who Brunch.

  This story is for you.

  To my Mommy, happy heavenly birthday. Thank you for being my biggest fan as a writer and slanging all my books. LOL. I love you, Queen. Rest well.

  From the Pen of Ni’Cola

  Note to the reader

  Trigger warning

  Peace Kings and Queens!

  Being the founder of an organization like Girls Who Brunch I have the opportunity to work with so many different girls from many different walks of life.

  Some of my girls are rescued from the sex-trade, some in group homes and foster care. Some of my girls are homeless and or victims of sexual and physical abuse while at the same time; some of my girls may come from homes that has great upbringings and wonderful support systems.

  This book is a combination of real situations from real girls across the country. They are victims of being dealt the wrong hand and do not have access to positive options to correct the problems at hand. Through this book, I had one main objective: to give a voice to the voiceless.

  Since slavery days, girls and women of color have always been oversexualized and over criminalized. They are usually the ones to get the harshest punishments at very young ages, without one thinking about how they got here.

  When you read this story, I want you to do it with an open heart. Some of the situations are intense. Some of the characters points of views are difficult to accept, but they are all real.

  These situations may cause triggers to physical and or mental abuse that you or someone you love may have endured, and I am apologizing in advance. But if it does, then I did my job.

  Once you finish reading this story, I am asking all of you to take a moment and process what would you have done, if you were in Harper’s situation.

  What Was

  I Supposed to Do?

  Prologue

  Miami? Mexico?

  I laid on the couch with my head propped up on pillow, daydreaming about our nearing vacation. Once we came off this crazy ass lockdown, we were out of here! Stone had been very vague about the destination. The furthest place I had ever been was Cali when my Papa took me to Disneyland.

  How old was I? Seven? Nine?

  That shit was crazy! I ain’t done nothing! After Papa had his stroke and ended up in that home, the only person I had was my crazy ass mama, and she never had any money! But that was about to change. Stone promised me the world and I was more than willing to take him up on his offer. The thought of traveling the world with that beautiful man made my heart flutter every time it came to mind. I was so lucky. Who would have ever thought he would have picked me to be his girl? Me! The half-breed mutt-girl, who ain’t know who her own damn Daddy was could land a man like that?!

  I was taking in my beautiful setting, listening to the Neo Soul station on Spotify and trying to learn some of the old songs that were playing. Neo Soul was Stone’s favorite genre of music. I didn’t want to appear as young as I was while we were on vacation, or once he started taking me around his family.

  Lost in my thoughts, I did not hear the keys unlocking the front door. I was grinning from ear-to-ear when Stone entered the apartment, but my grin quickly faded when I realized that he had four guys behind him.

  “Hey there, pretty girl,” he said with a soft smile on his lips.

  “Someone is happy to have me back home I see,” he said, leaning in to brush a quick kiss against my lips.

  I hurried up to pull the throw blanket up over my body. I tried tucking my body down behind the oversized pillows on the couch. I wasn’t wearing anything but a pair of boy shorts and a sports bra. I didn’t know he was going to bring company home with him. Stone hadn’t brought anyone besides his sister, Denice, to the house, so I was totally caught off guard. />
  He must’ve sensed my nervousness. Stone gestured for the guys to take a seat in the dining room as he sat down next to me, rubbing my hand.

  Even though I trusted this man with my life, the energy in the room was making me uncomfortable. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and my body had a sudden chill.

  “Pretty girl, these are a few of my friends. I told them about you, and they offered me top dollar to meet you,” he said in a gentle baritone.

  Top dollar? Did this dude just say what I think he said?

  I shook my head, looking at Stone, then turned my attention to the men seated at the dining room table, cheesing like they just won the lottery. They looked the kind of guys Mama used to be on the corner with when I would go looking for her when I was little.

  “Black, we can’t see her, man. Gotta make sure she worth the five stacks,” the pudgy one said.

  He stood up, rubbing his hand across his crotch. I guessed he was waiting for me to get up.

  My chills turned into a full-blown round of the shakes and my head started to hurt really badly.

  OMG! Did he sell me to these guys? How much is five stacks? Five hundred or five thousand, and who the fuck is Black?

  Not giving me an opportunity to speak, Stone grabbed my hand, looking me dead in the eyes.

  “Don’t embarrass me now, Harper,” he said, exposing the gun at his waist with his other hand. “I need you to stand up, go to the guest room, and get into the shower. Leave on the towel and wait on the bed like a good girl.

  When you are ready, call my name and I will send them in one-by-one. I need you to make them feel good, like you make me feel good. Okay? I have been bragging about you, baby. They just want to make sure that you are everything that I said you are. Now, be a good girl and do what I say. You hear me?”

  Still holding my hand with a tight grasp, he pulled me slowly but firmly. The tears that had welled up in my eyes finally released and rolled down my face.

  This man had claimed to love me and promised to never hurt me, but he really sat there, telling me that he sold me! He knew how I felt about pimps and prostitutes! He knew everything about me! Why the hell is he doing this to me?

  Mama always said that if a man seemed too perfect, it was because there was a dirty secret he was hiding and needed his perfection to overpower it. After a while, his representative will go away and the real him would come out. I always blew her off when she spouted her hood parables, but right now, all of her words were ringing out in between my ears.

  “Stop that shit, Harper. Now, go wash up. Make sure you use that smell-good body wash in there and wash your hair. Got to make sure you are fresh and clean for our guests, okay?”

  He still spoke in his normal, soothing tone. Stone pushed me in the direction of the guest room, snatching the blanket from around me, exposing my barely clad body.

  I knew that if I went into that room, I might never make it out because they were going to have to kill me before they raped me.

  Did they know I was only sixteen?

  I guess if it didn’t matter to Stone, then it damn sure must not have mattered to them.

  “Yea, my G. Her ass is fat like you said,” the tall, light-skinned one said. “I got shotgun!” he exclaimed to the other guys at the table.

  I wanted to scream and cry, but this was not the time for that. If I could pull this shit off, I could to do that later, but not now. Right now, I had to save my life.

  I turned my attention back to Stone, trying to tune their voices out my head. Flashing him a soft smile, I turned all my feminine wiles on, hoping my pheromones would work in my favor at this moment. All my life, my mamma taught me the game that I had to use from time to time, but this was a moment when I had to pay attention and keep my cool if this shit was going to work.

  “I got you, baby,” I said before I leaned in to hug him and who would have thought? He opened his arms to embrace me, giving me a small window of opportunity to save my life. I hurried in and tugged the gun out of his waistband.

  What the fuck!” he yelled, but I was too quick. I had possession of the gun, and the bad part about being raised in the projects and having a hoe for a mamma, I knew exactly how to use it.

  Knowing from the weight and the bulge at the bottom, I knew it was loaded. I held the gun firmly, cocked it, and aimed it directly at Stone.

  “Nigga, I thought you said she was with this!” the pudgy one yelled out to Stone.

  “I am on papers and don’t have time for no bullshit,” he said, while inching towards the door.

  The tall, light-skinned one stood up and said, “I am not going anywhere until I get some pussy or my bread back, period.”

  In that instance I knew, I was going to have to shoot and maybe kill someone tonight.

  “Bitch! I told you not to embarrass me!” Stone hollered out, lunging towards me.

  Stepping back, I took the shot, closing my eyes as the blast from the gun rang out in the air.

  Harper

  Buzzzzzzz. The alarm rang out as my cell doors opened. I really was not feeling that great, but I was happy to participate in anything that was going to allow me to be out of my cell for a few hours.

  Officer Mead in Booking had an empowerment group that brought in speakers to encourage and enlighten us once a quarter. She told me about this when she was processing me into the system.

  “You just missed the last event, but if you are still here, I will make sure to add you to the list,” she said, flashing me a soft smile. I nodded my head and agreed to entertain her, not thinking I would really still be here. I just knew my mamma was going to come get me. My Papa was in that home, but if he knew that I was in jail, he would have made her come get me.

  I totally forgot about Officer Mead and getting signed up until this morning. A guard I had never seen before in my unit came to my cell and told me that someone would be coming to get me around 1:45 p.m.

  “Be on your best behavior,” she said before walking off. “They have been in the gym all morning, decorating and stuff for y’all. The event got food and desserts. They’re working really hard to do something nice, so you better act like you appreciate it. Okay?”

  “Yes ma’am,” I responded and laid back down. All I needed to know was that there was going to be food there and I was satisfied. I closed my eyes. 1:45 p.m. couldn’t get here fast enough. My head and stomach had been hurting all day. I knew it was because I had not been eating enough here. The food was horrible, and I couldn’t stand to eat it. I took in the bare minimum for nourishment, but it usually left me not feeling too well. I was going to try to sleep it off until it was time to go.

  I stepped outside the doorway and automatically folded my arms behind my back, waiting for the guards to instruct me to move. I had been here for almost three months now, and I quickly caught on to this routine because I didn’t want any issues.

  Walking down the hallway towards the gym, it was still hard for me to process that I was really here. Every time I woke up, I took in a deep breath, blinked my eyes twice, and gave myself a moment to look around. Even though the walls in my home were concrete, because I lived on Donna in the projects, they were still more inviting to me than this place. The walls in my house represented a small thing that I kept taking for granted. My freedom.

  At home, I had the freedom to come and go as I pleased. Even if our house was kinda fucked up, it was still ours. My momma pretty much let me do whatever I wanted to do. Even though my friends thought she was cool, I hated it. I wanted a mom who made me go to school, do homework, have chores. The only thing my Momma cared about was me disrespecting her boyfriend, James, and he was the main reason that I was here. SMDH.

  The closer we got to the gym, I heard music playing.

  Is there a DJ here?

  I’ve never heard of an empowerment event that had a DJ. All of the ones I’ve been to in the past were at my Sidra’s church. Now, they had music, but not a DJ. It was either the piano player doing a solo or the
choir singing. Even though I didn’t want to get excited, I was actually curious about what was going to happen and sped up my pace a bit.

  I kept my hands folded behind my back even as I entered the gym. At first, this position was uncomfortable, but it soon became my peace. It was a silent, safe, reassurance blanket for me. If all of us had our hands behind our backs, I didn’t have to worry about anybody trying to do something to me. Even though everyone here had been pretty cool, I could never be too careful. Some of the charges that these girls had, were way worse than mine, so there was no way I could trust anyone here.

  “Hello ladies,” I heard someone say into a microphone. “Please take a seat in the bleachers. We will be starting shortly.”

  Her voice was soft and inviting, not like any of the staff that worked here. Everyone here pretty much just barked orders and commands at us, so her voice was actually refreshing.

  It wasn’t until then that I realized how many of us girls were here. Some of them were following orders and heading towards the bleachers, while others were in awe by the decorations and the food. There were signs of girls having fun all over the place. There were balloon arches and columns everywhere. I knew that the officer said there was going to be food, but dang! They even had a fancy table with cupcakes and those chocolate-covered strawberries. All this for us?

  “SIT DOWN!”

  This time, it wasn’t the woman with the nice voice. It was Officer Mead. She stood in front of the DJ, who turned down the volume of the music.

  “Y’all need to hurry up, so we can start this event. These ladies do not have all day!” she barked.

  If I was at home, I probably would have had a smart remark, but since being here, I had learned how to be humble and appear invisible. I didn’t want any smoke with the officers. I wanted to be on my best behavior, so that I could get some of the food to eat.